Lazarus’ Book


Solipsism: (noun) The belief that all reality is just one’s own imagining of reality, and that one’s self is the only thing that exists. 1871, coined from Latin solus, “alone” 

I’ve been published!! My first book, Solipsist, is now available on Kindle here and is available for Amazon hard copy purchase here.

Available on Barnes & Noble here.

In 2010, I hit rock bottom. After struggling with crippling depression throughout my adolescence and heavy drug addiction, I attempted suicide. Thankfully, it wasn’t my time to leave. It has been an uphill battle towards recovery ever since. Every day I needed to make a conscious decision to hang on and get better. Slowly, with the love and support from my family and friends, I began to rehabilitate spiritually, emotionally, and physically. I am very grateful to say that I have been sober (and plan to be!) from the drug that had nearly destroyed me.

Through my arduous recovery process, I had turned to writing for healing. These poems that I have published in Solipsist were deliberately handpicked, as each one was written during a crucial point in my therapy. They are raw, unfiltered. I understand that some of them can be hard to read. They are difficult to share.

So, why open up to the world? Unfortunately, suicide is such a stigmatized topic in our society, along with mental health. I painfully remember not wanting to reach out for help for this very specific reason. All too often, people who are struggling with the above mentioned are labeled as “weak” and “attention seeking.” Then, when someone we love takes their own life, we wonder why we never saw the signs.

I lived through my experiences and I know that my purpose is to spread awareness. If I am able to save one life, my purpose is fulfilled.

That being said, I am VERY excited about my first published book. I am inviting you all to share this moment with me!

Thank you all for the support!!!


In dedication to:

American Foundation of Suicide Prevention

The Trevor Project– providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people ages 13-24.

RAINN– Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network

“Identity. Victoria is not the writer, or is she?
Perhaps the writer is simply “The Writer”
But who am I to say?
Pretentious, self-righteous writer who spills
Ugly letters into a puddle of decent patterns.
This body is tight on me and I have a mechanical
Taste beneath my tongue.
I’ve been addicted before but I could verily
Say that it made me hold on for just a little bit longer.”
–from Pilgrim, Solipsist


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