Oh, You Again 

I’m undecided if this is just pregnancy hormones I’m experiencing, or true blue depression rearing its head. Probably both. 

I’m incredibly stressed, though I’m trying hard to breathe through it- mostly for baby. 

Without going into too many details, not only are we moving houses right now, and prepping for a baby, but two days ago it became official that we are moving across the country right after baby is born. 

I’m trying to process everything at once. I feel like things are piling on top of my chest. I’m exhausted, I cry at the drop of a dime. I’m scared, anxious. Trying to be optimistic and push through this hard part. 

The thought of leaving the only place I’ve ever known triggers major unsettling feelings. I mean, it’s hard enough moving towns. You wouldn’t guess it since I’ve moved well over 20 times in my life. 

I’m feeling kind of panicky. I’m feeling so drained. I need to stay well rested and healthy and stable right now. 

A part of me wonders if I should talk to my doctor about the possibility of looking into meds to help in the near future. I don’t want to set myself up for failure, but I am significantly worried about my risk for post-partum depression. With all this change going on, I don’t know how well I’ll be able to hold it together. 

Especially in January. January is always so hard for me :/

So much to think about. I’m just trying to stay afloat. 

Meanwhile, I’ve been feeling the beginning flutters from baby. Knowing I’m not alone and that someone is depending on me helps. And they are so sweet! I’ve been waiting years and years for those kicks and flutters ❤


3 thoughts on “Oh, You Again 

  1. ladymigraine365 says:

    Hello lady Lazarus! Was so glad to see you begin to post again. I think with your history, it makes sense to worry about PPD. I took my depression and migraine meds through both pregnancies, and my girls were both strong and perfect. And I was very worried about PPD as well but did not end up suffering. I didn’t have to move across the country though. ❤
    Much love to you. Hang in there.

    Liked by 1 person

      • ladymigraine365 says:

        Don’t. Don’t feel guilty. My docs said “the baby will be safer and healthier not having to feel your pain.” That goes for emotional pain too! I hate this culture that values the pre-born over the mother. Maternal mortality rates are high in this country for a reason. Follow drs’ advice carefully, there are plenty of safe meds to use. Thinking of you ❤️

        Liked by 1 person

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