I’m undecided if this is just pregnancy hormones I’m experiencing, or true blue depression rearing its head. Probably both.
I’m incredibly stressed, though I’m trying hard to breathe through it- mostly for baby.
Without going into too many details, not only are we moving houses right now, and prepping for a baby, but two days ago it became official that we are moving across the country right after baby is born.
I’m trying to process everything at once. I feel like things are piling on top of my chest. I’m exhausted, I cry at the drop of a dime. I’m scared, anxious. Trying to be optimistic and push through this hard part.
The thought of leaving the only place I’ve ever known triggers major unsettling feelings. I mean, it’s hard enough moving towns. You wouldn’t guess it since I’ve moved well over 20 times in my life.
I’m feeling kind of panicky. I’m feeling so drained. I need to stay well rested and healthy and stable right now.
A part of me wonders if I should talk to my doctor about the possibility of looking into meds to help in the near future. I don’t want to set myself up for failure, but I am significantly worried about my risk for post-partum depression. With all this change going on, I don’t know how well I’ll be able to hold it together.
Especially in January. January is always so hard for me
So much to think about. I’m just trying to stay afloat.
Meanwhile, I’ve been feeling the beginning flutters from baby. Knowing I’m not alone and that someone is depending on me helps. And they are so sweet! I’ve been waiting years and years for those kicks and flutters ❤