I’ve been gone from my L&L blog for a few months it seems. Life has caught up with me and has shaken me up- in the BEST and worst ways. I still read your posts, still flip through your updates.
[[ Journal for Damned Lovers, I’m still addicted to your writings. Manyofus, I hope you’re doing okay. You will get through this rough patch! ]]
I just haven’t found time, nor motivation, to really write anything. Even my poetry blog is dusty! But here I am now to bring you the most recent and drastic changes in my life– if you care to read about them.
- I have a new job! I’m working for an early intervention program as a Behavior Therapist. My clients are between the ages of 2-6, and most are diagnosed with autism or other developmental disorders. I LOVE my job. I’ve been there for about 4 months now and I think I really found a great company. Some days are harder than others, but overall I am very appreciative of the opportunity I have to work with little ones.
- My girlfriend and I are no longer together. We broke up in March this year, so 3ish months ago. Without going into too many details, it’s sad. I still feel sad about it. I love her very much, always will. We still talk though. Not sure what else to say at this particular point- I’m sure I’ll write a longer post about it later.
- My boyfriend and I are still together (a couple posts back I wrote about the relationship we three shared)
- I’m moving yet again. I’m giving my 30 day notice to my current residency on July 1st. So stress levels are a bit high.
Hmm.. anything else…
OH YEAH! I’m pregnant!
I found out Mother’s Day. I wasn’t expecting it at ALL. We were on birth control, in no way were we planning on having a baby any time soon. We’ve talked about waiting 2-3 years first before trying. But lo and behold, I am currently 11 weeks pregnant.
The first 6 weeks were rough in terms of not knowing what the hell to do. My boyfriend and I have really only been together for 7 months or so. He’s never wanted kids before. I was flip-flopping between terminating the pregnancy because of various reasons- financial doubts, I didn’t want my baby to have a father who wasn’t fully in board, I’m young, etc.
My first ultrasound confirmed my desire to be a mother. We saw the heartbeat for the first time and I was smitten. (He thought it looked like a salamander, but he’s coming around to it haha)
How drastic things have changed. I am an emotional roller coaster, swinging through happiness, excitement, fear, doubt…. after suffering through multiple miscarriages in the past, I was terrified of losing this one. But the doctor says everything looks perfect and healthy. Finally.
My boyfriend is an amazing human being. Since we found out, he’s been reassuring me that whatever I decided, he would be there 100%. And he has been. He is so incredibly supportive and I appreciate him for that.
Still, life’s responsibilities are weighing on me. They are only growing larger, as am I! My jeans officially don’t fit me anymore. Although my morning sickness and exhaustion are disappearing more and more as I approach my second trimester.
I am one stressed mama. There are MANY days I wish I could crawl next to my girlfriend, or I guess ex :/, and just talk to her. I know it’s not fair to even ask her to be in board with all of this. But she’s been my person for so long.
So, there it is, WordPress. Major life changes.