Shift..

I don’t feel crazy.

Things have shifted. I don’t feel fragmented. I don’t feel as if I’ve ever been fragmented.

The alters seem like a distant collection of imaginary friends I used to play with as a child. Even then, they don’t seem real or identifiable. At least right now, Lucy and Goldie – for example- are just names to emotions. Labels.

There’s no time lost. There’s no void. I’m in control and even when I’m not, I am still.

I’d say this is a good thing, except for the fact that I feel irritated, and perhaps slightly angry, that I’ve even HAD alters. I feel almost silly….

Does any of this make sense?

I feel like I grew up.

 

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2 thoughts on “Shift..

  1. Star0Dawn says:

    I completely relate to this. I recently found myself poundering where they went and were they real? And is it only when in complete distress do I need them. I feel void and too quite now. Have I grown or just relieved myself of unnecessary stress that caused them, will they come back?

    Liked by 1 person

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