Character Coma

This is not something I EVER share with people. It has been on my mind however, and I’m curious if anyone experiences a similar thing.

I lose myself in movies. I mean, I really lose myself. It’s more than just a healthy imagination. There have been multiple occasions when I’ve stepped out of a theater and have lost my own identity so much that I can’t shake out of this state for days or even weeks at a time.

Does this happen to anyone else? Is this a writer thing? A dissociative thing?

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My speech will change, my eyes will do this “focusing” thing (like the lens of a camera that tries to focus), my walk, my perceptions… my thought process, everything. It’s as if I slowly morph into the main character. This is BEYOND pretending. I’ll hear the soundtrack over and over in my head, the voices will get louder as if there is really dialogue. I end up acting out scenes sometimes by myself, wherever I am, to satiate the fact that I can’t just jump into another dimension and BECOME this character.

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I really don’t even know how to explain it to you. When I can’t bring myself out of it, sometimes I slip into a derealization episode and nothing feels real anymore. It’s terrifying. Eventually, I come out. However, I know I still have a few fictive alters.

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I did this ever since I can remember. When I was 3, Disney’s Pocahontas came out. I’d act out the scenes by myself, which I’m sure is normal for children. It just never left me.

It doesn’t necessarily cause me any harm. However, I become highly impressionable when I’m lost in it. SO much so that I have no problem in engaging in dangerous activities- like drugs, for example.

Anyone else? Feedback?

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6 thoughts on “Character Coma

  1. MM says:

    Oh, I can’t believe… I didn’t think that anyone besides be experiences something like that. Also, I wonder myself – is it from my mental illness? Or maybe it’s just simply ‘artist’ thing, since artist usually see more, feel more and can easly loose themselves into imagination.
    I do it all the time, it really helps me with daily life. The reality hurts me so bad that I prefer to act my day-dreams, rather than confronte with it.
    My doctor told me it’s common in dissociation – but even though I never met someone who know it themself.
    (forgive my bad english)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. NeverBeNormalAgain says:

    I don’t think you have to mentally ill to lose yourself in a film or character – if this is the case there are an awful lot of people who’d be classed as mentally ill but have active imaginations and need a little escapism (I don’t know if you’ve ever been to comicon…)

    It’s very normal, from what I’ve seen of kids to act out films by themselves (if my little cousins are anything to go by after Frozen!)

    But yeah, when I wasn’t as together as I am now I would consciously borrow what I needed from film/tv to get me through. That’s what they’re there for, that’s why we have so many superhero movies (or so I think), because we need them.

    Watch wisely x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. leavingmyhead says:

    I have a fear of losing myself in movies and books and even songs. Its like I will lose my identity…so sometimes i try not to watch but other times i want to lose myself and escape….i feel like some ppl have memories and i have books and movies instead…
    If you feel the way you feel it dosent matter if its normal or not “normal” is just a relative term anyways. You need to figure out prefebly with a therapist how you are going to handle this and what to do about it.
    Wishing you lots of luck:)

    Liked by 1 person

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