My black cloud of “fuck this is it” has seemed to roll off into the distance! (Only to welcome REAL clouds in the sky- hello El Nino!)
Yesterday morning, I was lovingly woken up by my cat as she slammed her furry head against my face multiple times. 7 AM. I looked around, stretched, and something told me to go to morning meditation. I had never been to a group prayer at this particular Self-Realization temple and have been curious for years since moving to the Hollywood area. I checked the schedule and got ready for 8:30 group prayer.
I was immediately filled with relief once I pulled into the parking lot. Nestled into a heavenly pocket right in the midst of bustling, dirty, sexy Sunset Blvd, there is a beautiful garden with still ponds and birds. I had walked over to these same gardens when I worked at the Church of Scientology Los Angeles; they are right next to each other, funny enough. It was just as serene as I had remembered it.
I was greeted warmly by an usher at the temple doors. The building was clean and happy. Inside its walls were people from all kinds of backgrounds, united there on Sunday morning for the same purpose of some kind of enlightenment. I sat down, crossed my legs, took a few deep breaths and silently chanted a few opening mantras to Shiva to myself. By the time I opened my eyes, a monk was already standing on the altar.
From here, he led us into our first group chant:
I will sing thy name
I will drink thy name
and get all drunk, oh, with thy name.
Om Guru, Om Guru, Om Guru, Om
We all sat in silent meditation for the next hour and ended on another chant.
Finally! Some spiritual fulfillment! I felt like myself!
Beaming with relief, I decided to go grocery shopping and picked up my items for the week. As I was making breakfast, my girlfriend called me over to her house and we spent yet another amazing day together running errands and cooking dinner. Well, she cooked dinner. I stirred it 🙂
My day ended with an organic face mask and warm bath.
This morning I heard Senka. She woke me up and was talking about something… and I wish I could remember what it was. I told myself to write it down, however it was an odd sensation. I knew she was talking and she was around, but I couldn’t do anything about it; I couldn’t move my own body, I couldn’t really talk.. I don’t know how to explain it to you. That hasn’t happened since I first met Goldie that one night. I wish I had better words to describe it.