Liar, Liar, Money Wire

Yesterday, I received a call from my mom’s sister in Georgia- where my mother is from. I’ve never spoken to her on the phone before yesterday.

She called to inform me that my mother’s husband let her know that she was in the hospital due to an overdose on Xanax. I told her to please keep me updated through the day.

I called her once in the afternoon, and her son answered; she had left to run some errands and she would call me as soon as she could. I drove home from work, pulled onto my street, and got a phone call from my aunt. She said that my mom’s husband gave her the name of the hospital when they first spoke. Later on during the day, he was asking for her to send money to help them. That set off red flags in my aunt’s mind, so she decided to call the hospital and see for herself. Surprise. The hospital had no record of her ever checking in.

Don’t do drugs, kids.

Not only that, but according to my aunt, she has been offering her home to my mom for the past 8 months or so to come, get clean, get out of her abusive relationship, etc. My mom has been telling me that the entire family had shunned her and has refused communication from her. She’s been lying this entire time.

I’m pretty much completely done now. I’m angry. I’m just angry with her and she’s lost the little respect that I have been clinging onto.

I went to my therapy appointment today and discussed all of this. I do see now that I am making progress. Instead of turning in on myself and feeling sad that my mom is choosing drugs over me (AGAIN), I’m just angry. Not at myself. I’m angry at her. I’m angry at her for lying to me repeatedly.

And I really don’t feel like talking to her anytime soon. I don’t owe her conversation, support, or empathy. I’ve been giving that to her for the past 3 years of my adult life, and to be quite honest, she doesn’t deserve it.

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5 thoughts on “Liar, Liar, Money Wire

  1. CassandCo says:

    I’m sorry to hear that you were lied to. It’s really hard when parents keep disappointing you. Like I wish my mum just had my values; wanted to be honest and to try her best to get out of the shit and live well. Good on you for reflecting and being introspective. Thanks for making me feel like I’m not alone in having a mum that can’t take care of you.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Andi says:

    I agree- she doesn’t deserve it. I’m sorry this happened. I wish she could do better, both for herself and for you. Glad you were able to process some of your (much deserved) anger in therapy.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. em4minions says:

    i keep waiting for my parents to grow up. they are 75 & 76 and still wrapped up in their co-dependent abusive relationship with one another–despite what it does to their children. i just hope they are able to get it right in their next lives.
    it’s hard, especially for girls, to be abandoned by their mothers. i know the damage it has done to me. i hope you are able to find solace.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. swtswtsue says:

    I’m so sorry this happened. I’m going through something similar with regards to my family, and It sucks ass now that I’m fully aware of all the dysfunction.

    I really admire how well you’re handling everything. You’re taking care of YOU, which is the kindest thing you can do for yourself. You have every right to feel angry, and you have every right to distance yourself from this messed up drama. So glad you’re getting it out. Keep venting. Keep writing. Awesome work, my dear. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. anxietybug88 says:

    I think this is a big step for you. I’m sorry about your mother. Someone who’s that deep into addiction needs to come out of it themselves, and I’m glad you’re able to let the responsibility of helping her go, so to speak. You have every right to be angry.

    Liked by 1 person

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