Sometimes my family makes me feel as if I am truly insane. At least in regards to my cousin, my abuser. I bring this up now because my other cousin asked me this simple question: “Is it possible… I mean, you say you hallucinate… is it possible, that these stories of what happened with him (my abuser and HIS cousin), your real mental health, your drug use, your self harm are just hallucinations?”
I know that these things happened…but in regards to my cousin… damn. The family doesn’t even acknowledge it as true. CPS dropped the case. This guy never received any punishment or reprimand. Can the world actually be that cruel?
I feel as if I’m missing bits and pieces of everyday life. I’m not paying attention completely. Maybe I’m just really exhausted.
It’s time to find a new psych. I’ll put some calls in today and see what happens. Perhaps I need an adjustment on my meds. Last night the conversations grew louder. This morning though… it’s been a while since I’ve had them like this. It’s got to be the depression.