Sometimes my family makes me feel as if I am truly insane. At least in regards to my cousin, my abuser. I bring this up now because my other cousin asked me this simple question: “Is it possible… I mean, you say you hallucinate… is it possible, that these stories of what happened with him (my abuser and HIS cousin), your real mental health, your drug use, your self harm are just hallucinations?”

I know that these things happened…but in regards to my cousin… damn. The family doesn’t even acknowledge it as true. CPS dropped the case. This guy never received any punishment or reprimand. Can the world actually be that cruel?

I feel as if I’m missing bits and pieces of everyday life. I’m not paying attention completely. Maybe I’m just really exhausted.

It’s time to find a new psych. I’ll put some calls in today and see what happens. Perhaps I need an adjustment on my meds. Last night the conversations grew louder. This morning though… it’s been a while since I’ve had them like this. It’s got to be the depression.


4 thoughts on “Lather

  1. ladymigraine365 says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. Hadn’t you seen a couple new drs that you really liked? You were doing so well for a while… when you told your cousin that yes, you are SURE of the abuse, did he accept that? Nothing is harder than not being believed. 😦


  2. The Otherwiser says:

    I wish we knew why so many families live in denial like this. From the outside looking in, I feel like that’s the crazy thing to do, to be so caught up as to not even open their eyes and leave you hanging like this.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s