Adult Decisions, Yikes- Also, I Hate Mental Illness

I’m stuck with a decision. I need feedback, please. I’ve already gotten advice, but I don’t know why a plethora of opinions would help me more.

Yesterday was my last day of IOP. (Well, technically, Monday is my LAST day) When I enrolled in the program, I made an agreement with work that my last (what I call it as) physical therapy would be March 25th. Then, POOF, all better. Obviously, I’m not better. Or maybe I am and I’m just blind to my progress.

So, my insurance guy is trying to get me more IOP days. If I do get them, it will probably be 10-15 days or so. That’s continuing on with the same schedule, etc. My options:

1) Continue on with IOP, assuming I get approved for more days. I’ll continue to work part time, assuming my work even approves it- yes my boss will be pissed. I already know that. AND I’ll receive more shitty paychecks, which I’m already struggling with.

2) I file for disability for a couple weeks, enroll back into PHP most likely, and work on my shit.

3) Discharge from the program completely and find an outside psychiatrist and therapist.

I’m leaning towards the latter right now. I’m back in the mentality of where I know it’s getting bad again, but maybe I can just pull it together. Just enough to keep me sane until I start seeing a therapist regularly.

In other news, my doctor bumped my Seroquel up to 75 mg. I knocked the fuck out like a tranquilized horse last night. Still had hallucinations this morning. She thinks it’s just the anxiety swimming around me lately. Makes sense.

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One thought on “Adult Decisions, Yikes- Also, I Hate Mental Illness

  1. Andi says:

    I’m honestly not sure. I believe that you’d be okay in OP, but I’d rather see you already set up with a treatment team (i.e. new shrink and therapist) before you officially discharge. It SUCKS to be without anyone at all, you know?

    Liked by 1 person

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