Kidnapped and Paranoid

Song of the day, if you’re into power metal, that is:

Recently, I feel like everyone is angry at me, or at least upset. I feel that they’re constantly watching me.

A few days ago, I was driving home from the mall and I was sweating bullets basically because I thought there were two people following me home. One of them followed me from the parking lot, called the other person, and they followed from the street. Then again on Sunday, I took my dog to the vet. When I was leaving, a man got into his truck from his house. He just sat there, though, in his truck. So, I’m thinking that he’s waiting for me to pull out and drive so he can follow me. My heart started racing. Sure enough, as soon as I drove off, he pulled out. Logically speaking, I’d like to say I know better. I know he was waiting for his wife to get in the car. I *know* this, but even as I type, I don’t think I can tell you that I believe it 100%. It’s embarrassing to admit that.

So, there’s that. I kind of  want to stay home today from work. I didn’t get very much done yesterday.

You know, the more I look back on my teenagehood, the more I realize how intensely paranoid I was. I remember being completely convinced that my cousin was going to kidnap me and put me in a mental facility. Oh boy.

I know, I bitch a lot. My posts are so whiny. But fuck.

Frustration. I’m frustrated at myself for feeling like everyone is out to get me. I’m frustrated that I can’t pull myself together- I haven’t been taking care of myself, or my apartment, or anything. I want to stay home, under my covers, drink myself to sleep, and not have to worry about socializing with anyone.

Too bad I’m responsible. To work or bust.

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