14. What would you say to your younger self if you could?
You’re going through a really rough time right now. I know how you’re feeling. The entire world is swallowing you up.
You think everyone has stopped loving you. I promise you, they love you just the same. They are worried for you. No one really knows what to do- but don’t let that bring you down. You’re going to rise from the ashes by yourself. I know you don’t believe me, but I’m YOU, and you WILL survive.
You think that letting go will fix everything. It won’t. You’ll fall in love, you’ll receive standing ovations for monologue performances, you’ll run into the ocean waves at midnight with your friends and laugh like you’ve never laughed before, you’ll win medals for your poetry. If you leave, you’ll break everyone’s heart. Stay.
You think that your parents abandoned you, that you should just follow in their footsteps. Well, surprise! You find your mom. And she’s off of drugs.
You think that your sadness will just get worse. It will. Then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. You have to just keep fighting through it. People look up to you. You’re a fighter, just like your mom. Resilience is your middle name.
You think that your grandparents don’t understand and you can’t talk to them. Well, they’ve been on this Earth longer than you have and they do understand. Talk to them. Spend time with them while you can. Don’t ever take them for granted, not for a second.
You think that being so young excuses you from learning responsibility. Learn now. You will need it very soon when you move out on your own. Enjoy your innocence, your childhood, but get street smart FAST. You’re going to need it.
You think that drugs are a cure-all. Run far away from them. They feel great, they look great, they taste great. But trust me, run.
It’s shitty, it’s really difficult, the pain you feel is incomparable to anything you’ve ever felt.
I love you. I will always love you. Through your manic times, through your stable times, through your depressed times, I will love you. I am your best friend and your number one supporter. All you have to do is look towards yourself and remember that you are a phoenix.