I almost woke up early to blog just so I could record my thoughts.
I couldn’t even tell you what time it was. Perhaps it was close to 3 am or so. I woke up and I had that panic feeling. My body was quivering and my thoughts began to race. I got out of bed to move in front of the heater to relax my body. I started seeing flashes of twisted faces and visions. One vision I had was of a man standing in front of me, ripping his kidneys out and eating them…It all sounded like a great hall of voices, loud crashes, descriptions of disembowelment, more visions…
Anyways, I convulsed right there on the floor. I say convulse because it’s not a seizure. I’m aware of what’s happening for the most part. I don’t go unconscious. But my jaw locked and I couldn’t stop my muscles from tensing and jumping. It didn’t last long at all. Once the heater kicked on, I was able to relax a bit.
When I woke up, I was out of it. I wanted to spend the day in bed, but I did end up motivating myself to leave the house.
I leave you with a song for the night.