Day 5- 31 Days of Bipolar

5. What treatment, therapy etc do you do?

To be honest, I should be getting more treatment than I currently am. However, I am coasting right now between episodes so I guess until I’m carving away again at my wrists or seeing hallucinations of dwarves lynching themselves from trees (yes…you read that correctly…), I’m going to just pretend I don’t need help!

If you follow my blog, you may know that I was in the Church of Scientology for 12 years. (No! It’s okay! I escaped!) I received counseling within the church for about  8 years total. Yes, it did help. It’s talk therapy is all it is. And it helped a lot. However, it only helped short term.

I was prescribed lithium and I had to keep it a secret because I would have gotten in a lot of trouble if the church found out.

This is the website for Citizens Commission on Human Rights, Scientology’s spearheading campaign to end psychiatry.

Well, they did find out. I was promptly taken off my meds and shockingly spiraled into the darkest episode to date. After that happened and I was recovering, I was put on Lorazepam to diminish my hallucinations. The lorazepam helped, although I remember the fuzzy feeling being too overwhelming, so I stupidly stopped taking it.

A couple years ago, during another very bleak depression, I decided to take more of a natural route. I stated doing yoga, taking supplements, and went regularly for chakra realignment. It helped immensely! Again, it was a short term quick fix. While I still meditate when I can, it’s hard to keep up with religious and early morning yoga when you don’t even want to get out of bed.

The most effective treatment I’ve ever applied is writing. Since my symptoms first arrived before my teen years, I was writing. I guess I’ve just never realized exactly how much I write. Blogging especially has been wonderful. I love the fact that I can reach out to others and receive feedback.

Poetry, specifically, has been my go-to. My boyfriend and his mom have told me to stop writing such depressing poetry- if I wrote about something happy, I wouldn’t be so down in the dumps.

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When my hallucinations get unbearable, I’m able to kind of quiet my space by cooking. Something about making elaborate four course meals really helps me. Cooking is fantastic therapy.

And now, I leave you with a song that accurately describes my mood today.

In honor of Pink Floyd, of course.

-SJ

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