*~SuRvEyZ~*

For the sake of nostalgia purposes, I thought I’d take my morning coffee time to fill out an old MySpace survey. Oh, the indulgence.

Get to Know Me:

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? “Let’s get breakfast” to my feminine lover ❤
B) What does the last text you recieved say? And from whom? “Good morning!” from my frenemy
C) What time do you wake up most mornings? Usually around 6 am or earlier
D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night? It depends on where I am, really. However, I usually enjoy walking alone at night time, thinking about life and such.
E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day? Drink wine and read through my favorite blogs.
F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom? Do dreams count? Because I definitely kissed Lea Seydoux last night.
G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school? I feel like I was always in some sort of trouble in high school, despite my reputation as a teachers’ pet. It was usually because of my uniform violations, skipping classes, and my utter lackadaisical approach to AP Chem.
H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so? I enjoy it, actually. I work in Human Resources, I wouldn’t say this is my career, though. I’ve been thinking about getting back on my career path with Human Rights and Islamic studies. 
I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos? Yes- especially if they’re hard…
J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined? I have, but why would I turn down such a generous offer? 
K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking? I have, for better and for worse. One of them had altered my thoughts of drugs like heroin, and had opened the door to opium avenues. Another, in my most recent past, has opened my heart and made me realize that I can actually be loved with my Glitter Rainbow Imagination, in the way I’ve always wanted to be loved. 
L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted? Too many times for my own good.
M) Tell us something weird that turns you on. The smell of fresh laundry.
N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual? I think the very last time was when a guy friend had admitted he had romantic feelings for me. It kind of blind sighted me, and no it was not mutual in any way.
O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately? My current romantic relationship with my boyfriend. My feelings are hurt from the continuous lack of empathy on his part and understanding for what I’m going through. I feel more like a stranger to him everyday.
P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation? It was a few days ago at work, someone was throwing the “all Muslims are terrorists” statement around to other coworkers. Usually, I chime in with good intentions to handle ignorance. He was too combative though.
Q) Do you usually initiate hugs? Yes, all the time. I’m the kind of person that hugs you instead of shaking your hand when we first meet.
R) Are you a very affectionate person? Yes! Very much so.
S) Can you roll your own cigarettes? I can! I used to buy loose tobacco (Bali Shag is my favorite) and I would roll a few at a time. It’s kind of like knitting. Maybe I’ll buy some loose leaf today.
T) What are you looking forward to? I am looking forward to getting a car! 
U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more? I have 5 tattoos. In chronological order…

  1. On my upper back, just above my shoulders, I have a quote that says, “I can burn mountains.” This is kind of a long story, but what else am I doing? This quote comes from a book (back in my Scientologist days) called “The Creation of Human Ability.” The quote in context describes how powerful we are as infinite beings. We are so powerful that we can burn mountains and raise them from ashes just by willing it. We are our own God. I was dating this other Scientologist guy back then. Whenever I was fearful or having a rough patch through a psychotic episode, we would reiterate the quote and tell me that I am so strong, I can burn mountains. One night, I had fell in the bathroom and had a seizure. The whole thing was very scary. Anyways, I woke up a minute later to him holding me. He told me that he loved me for the first time and whispered in my ear, “You can burn mountains.” I recovered fine. So, the quote symbolizes that chapter in my life and the strength I found from that person specifically. 
  2. On my left arm, I have a small triangle with a heart in the center. It represents a strong spiritual foundation that I have built for myself. The heart represents the love I have for myself and for God, whomever that may be.
  3. On my right arm, I have the latin word Revenimus, which translates to “we come back.” Again, this alludes to my days in the Church of Scientology. Revenimus is the motto of the Sea Organization. At the time, this word represented a unity of mankind. It reminded me of the common humanity I share with all living creatures, and the reincarnation of all souls. Today, it also serves as a symbol of my own strength and resilience- no matter how far I stray, or how lost I become, I always come back.
  4. Also on my right arm is the Hindu mantra, Om Namah Shivaya written in Sankrit. In order to properly explain this mantra, I pulled this from the web:It means  “I bow to Shiva.” Shiva is the supreme reality, the inner Self. It  is the name given to consciousness that dwells in all. Shiva is the name of your true identity- your self. 

    According to Hindu mythology there are three Gods who run this creation. The Brahma – who creates the universe, the Vishnu – who preserves the Universe and the Shiva- who in the end destroys the universe. Among the three deities, Shiva, though considered as destroyer, also symbolize the  – the inner self which remains intact even after everything ends. 

  5. Finally, across my back, I have rather large illustration of the Hindu God, Ganesh. Ganesh is the God of wisdom and learning, and is also known as the Remover of Obstacles.

    V) Are you mentally strong? I am and then I’m not. I am because of this: I’m still here. I have been through quite a lot of bullshit in my life, but I’m still here and doing well, despite my ups and downs. I’m not because when I had bad days, they are very, very bad.
    W) Are you physically strong? I am! I’ve always said that I am freakishly strong. I have a lot of upper body strength thanks to yoga. I was also a religious runner and my legs are still pretty strong.
    X) Do you think you’re a good person? I think I am a very good person to my core.
    Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now. I don’t think I would really change anything. I want to live through everything, even the hard parts, so that I receive my lessons from the Universe.
    Z) What do you love most about yourself? My open heart.

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