I have this recurring daydream. It happens when I think too much about being asleep. When I say asleep, I mean not awake. Sometimes, I feel as though I’m truly dreaming, or II’m at least in a parallel universe. I feel like someone is screaming my name trying to wake me up- perhaps I’m in a coma.
Actually, this daydream might be about death as a general idea.
Imagine nothing. Just white, forever. Infinite void. You are floating there in the bright light of nothingness. Somehow, you are held up and are dangling. You feel weightless. You don’t know how you got there.
Then, ever so softly, you begin to hear the rumble of water. it grows louder and louder. Then, the red. Infinite miles of dark, warm blood rushes from the very bottom. The ocean of blood gradually begins to swallow your body. First your feet, your legs, your fingertips. Your lips and nose and eyes are last to go. Once it covers your ears, you hear the calming embryonic lull of the bloody tides.
You sink farther into this dark abyss. Your eyes are open and all you see is blood, warm blood.
The ocean pulls you down for months. Suddenly, one day, you see a black tunnel at the ocean floor. The tunnel begins to suck you in and abruptly your memories flood back to you. You remember everything about the life you lived before. Your childhood, your family, the loved ones you left behind. You start to swim now, pushing away from the walls of the tunnel, but it still sucks you under. You’re trying to find a way out, any way out would do. You have to get back to your life. You need to finish all that you had left.
Finally, at the end of the narrowing tunnel, a bright light shines and penetrates the ocean. The light is so scintillating, in fact, that you forget all that you knew just as fast as you had remembered it. Someone grabs ahold of you as you cry and beckon, confused, unsure as to what happened to you…