The Man in the Orange Hat

Again, I don’t talk about this. I don’t like talking about this because it embarrasses me. However, this blog is extremely therapeutic  to me, so I will purge.

This is story about my first adult delusion, and how completely terrifying the experience was.

This was early 2011, perhaps around March or so. I was home alone at 4:00 PM, getting myself ready for work. I felt very strange. I heard someone at the door downstairs. Keep in mind, I lived with 3 additional roommates and we never locked our front door.

I slowly walked down the stairs, walked into the living room, and came eye-to-eye with a strange man in an orange hat. He was wearing a dark green vest, sunglasses, and dark pants. I would guesstimate him to be about 5’8, perhaps 40-something years old. Very Hunter S. Thompson, now that I think about it.

Completely frozen, I stood there, nerves shivering. He said to me, “I’ve been watching you.” Quickly, he walked over to me, slapped me across the face, and continued to unbutton my jeans. I must have screamed bloody murder because he quickly ran out the door- without a trace.

I called the police. About ten minutes later, an ambulance, police team, and forensics team showed up at the house. I was trembling profusely. Hours went by of dusting fingerprints, interviewing me, so and so forth. The next day, I was called in to the station to have pictures taken of my bruises. I sported a black eye and a bruised cheekbone.

A few days passed by. My nights were restless with interruptions of nightmares.

Finally, I was called by into the station to have a sit down with the detectives that were assigned my case.

That day, they showed me a surveillance video tape that had been running across the street at my neighbors’ house. At 4:00 PM, no one had entered my house. I had hit myself multiple times and had bruised my own face.

My first adult delusion. Certainly, not my last.

-SJ

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