I was diagnosed today after my appointment with Schizoaffective Disorder, or SAD. According to MayoClinic, Schizoaffective disorder is a condition in which a person experiences a combination of schizophrenia symptoms — such as hallucinations or delusions — and mood disorder symptoms, such as mania or depression.
My appointment went really well actually. I walked into a cozy little empty waiting room. The lighting was very soft and comforting. There were 8 chairs and a small coffee table. On the table rested a clipboard with paperwork with my name written on a post it note- and a happy face of course.
My psych was very awesome. I enjoyed the session very much! I didn’t feel as if he wasn’t listening to me. He was just the right amount of sympathetic and he listened to me thoroughly. The office itself was so pleasant! I loved it.
He referred me to someone else though, as my current situation is a bit out of his realm of work. He seemed a bit concerned. I suppose I’m concerned myself.
I really hadn’t realized just how out of touch I was until I started spewing my life to this guy. It made a lot of sense to me. Can I also say how incredibly difficult, yet liberating, it was to introduce Allie to him? The others were introduced as well. It became very loud. I feel that everyone was speaking at once. I became a bit self conscious because I found myself stammering and tripping over my words. It was as if I was standing in a busy intersection, watching cars and buses go by, listening to a couple argue over across the street. He was very patient though.
I guess the question hanging over my head is what now?
We’ll see after I receive my new referral. I’m nervous, but I am ultimately excited to learn more about myself, more about Allie and “friends,” and overall find a way through.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner.