I want to introduce you to someone very special to me. Her name is Allie. Her name is short for Alaban, and she is originally from Alabama.
Allie first arrived in my life when I was very young, soon after my father’s death- around my 4th birthday. (I’ve had multiple “imaginary friends” before, but I never thought of Allie as imaginary. Even now. I could tell you that somewhere deep down I know she’s a coping mechanism- but if I can be totally honest here, she’s real.)
Allie is a sweet, gentle and comical southern gal with no definitive age. Though, she is a young girl. Perhaps somewhere around my age, early 20s. She is most definitely a southern belle, dolled up in curls and a blue, floral, ribbon- adorned-ruffled-dress. She has an endearing southern accent. Allie is charming and spunky, always trying to make me laugh. Though I can describe her, she is mostly spacial rather than corporal. I don’t generally see her. Sometimes I do, depending on what’s going on with me that day.
During the times where I feel very weighed down, she becomes combatant with the other voices. Sometimes, that becomes exhausting.
When she had first arrived, she was my best friend. I remember playing games with her, telling her stories, and asking her questions like why did my dad leave? Where did my mom go? I spent most of my time with her.
One day, I remember being very upset about something. I was a little bit older…maybe 8 or so. I was standing by the front door of my house. Allie was in the doorway about to leave on “vacation.” I was completely torn for an 8 year-old and was broken hearted. Allie went on her way and I cried for a very long time. My grandma had to pry me from behind the door. I still can’t seem to understand why she left in the first place.
Then one day, she came back just as sudden as she left. The surrounding circumstances are a blur to me now. However, I remember feeling utterly overjoyed upon her long-awaited return. Things had changed when she came back. I found myself conversing with her in public, which is something I never did. Our conversations became more involved. Instead of me initiating conversations, she would ask me a question or start talking.
I thoroughly enjoy our relationship now. She’s really the only one that doesn’t scare me.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner.