Another thing I didn’t believe when I was diagnosed as a manic depressive- mania. I just didn’t buy it. That didn’t sound like me.
What? It’s not normal to go through spurts of feeling invincible and elated?
When it hits, I feel that I am the most charming, intriguing, wild, impulsive, gorgeous, irresistible, almost super-naturally intoxicating girl in the entire world. It’s as if I could do anything and I would be instantly forgiven because of my charisma. Now, I understand how dangerous that could be!
To name a few things I did while I was manic:
- sold and got rid of my belongings thinking I was going to travel the world
- booked work as an elite escort (thankfully, that didn’t go through. but oh boy!)
- converted to several religions and so extremely followed them
- picked up a heroin addiction
- bought a trip to India, although I had no passport
- acquired all 5 of my tattoos
Not to mention the paranoia that had set in- from completely convincing myself that I was apart of a gameshow experiment and that all of my friends and family were in on it. I actually believed this and it made total sense at the time.
Anyways, this has been on my mind lately.
I do wish we could chat longer, but I’m having an old friend for dinner